- Plato (428-348 BC)

While the name beckons at us with an interesting combination of chocolate and wheat, the beer is in fact a porter. And while it boasts an excellent flavor, very little of it resembles wheat. As a group, we can honestly say…we don’t care. As long as Shorts continues to produce quality micro brews they can name them whatever they want. What didn’t come as a surprise is the quality aroma and taste that comes out of this darkest of dark beers. When we say this beer is dark, we mean you can put it on a stand with a light under it and see nothing but black. Now that’s dark.When you lift the glass to your nose, the very first thing you smell is coffee grounds, with a hint of malt and chocolate right behind it.

While appearance and aroma are important to a beer connoisseur, the ultimate test is, of course, the taste. Shorts is known for taking risks and taking beer flavors to brave new worlds in the process, and they certainly hit the mark with this porter. The strong and smooth taste of coffee and chocolate is the first thing to hit your palate, giving it a consistent smell to taste. It’s important to note that the chocolate in this beer resembles a dark chocolate, with a little bitterness (but definitely not too much) on the back end that leads in to the a very faint hint of wheat.

We all know there are wheat beers out there that taste like you’re running through a wheat field with your mouth open, but this is not that beer. Shorts has done a great job of making a consistent, smooth, drinkable porter for your everyday coffee, chocolate and/or porter lover. You won’t be disappointed with this brew. If you are disappointed don’t blame us, just go back to your American pilsner and leave the real beer drinking to the real beer lovers.

“Make sure to give it some time in between sips or eating food to get the full effect of this beer.”
-Nate

Makes all the other Samaritans look like dicks.

The Good Samaritan is an amber ale brewed with apple cider and spices.  Note, that does not make this an ‘apple beer’, that’s a different animal.  This beer has a wonderful dark cloudy color, sort of like a caramel brown kind of color, far darker than we expected from an amber.  When we popped the top we were greeted with a slightly sweet aroma, almost reminiscent of a brown ale, with a notable apple smell.  It reminded us vaguely of apple muffins on a fall day.

This beer is without a doubt a session beer.  It’s incredibly easy to drink, so smooth on your palate that it feels like it’s giving you a gentle massage in your mouth.  The apple cider sweetness is very light, and balanced quite well by the spices.  You can definitely notice hints of nutmeg and something akin to cinnamon (though not very strong).  The clear malt flavor of the amber ale comes through as a very light bit of molasses.  The taste is actually a little surprising, it’s very subtle.  Based on it’s color, and the clarity of the apples in the smell, we expected a slightly more powerful beer with a stronger cider presence.  The only one of us that didn’t particularly care for it (hereby known as the Ginger Midget) commented that ‘based on it’s smell and color, the flavor was lackluster’.  Nobody else thought it was ‘lackluster’, but it is a lighter flavored beer, which is unsurprising at it’s humble 5% ABV.

After gagging the Ginger Midget, we all agreed that this was an incredibly refreshing beer, that’s easy to drink and while lighter in flavor, still has a great taste.  The cider is subtle, the smell is exquisite (though perhaps misleading), and it probably wouldn’t be too hard to polish off a sixer sitting around a campfire down by the river.  If only it weren’t a winter seasonal beer.

“I’d drink the crap out of that by the river”

Summer home brew recipe?  Thank goodness our Michigan Beer community uses a better process than A-B-C vegetables and spit.

For years, folks would pair wine with foods and chocolates especially around such holidays at 02/14.  Don’t be afraid to pair some browns or ambers with caramel chocolates, or dark chocolates with some stouts or porters.  IPAs would pair nicely with the citrus chocolates.  If your Valentine is a beer lover, you may even be able to save the $30 or more in roses and purchase a bouquet of beers that he/she has been wanting to try or just absolutely loves.  Just remember to give some love to the breweries this Valentine, because I know you are a lover of beer if you are reading this and visiting Tuesday-Nights.  XOXO beer!

 - Frank Zappa (1940-1993)

Allow us to introduce you to the snifter.

Hello, old friend.

Pouring allows the gases to form a head which makes it easier to smell and taste the beer at the same time.  In addtion, by holding on to the stem of the glass, we reduce the speed at which the beer warms up.  In turn this lengthens the time you can enjoy the awesome Michigan Craft Beer.

While there are many different types of glassware, each uniquely suited to a certain style of beer, we’ve found that the snifter provides you with one of the most optimal experiential enhancemants across the widest range of beers (you sound like a dork – Rob).  Not all of us have so extensive a collection of barware as to include the multiple types of pint glasses, pilsners, tulips, goblets, steins, flutes,  bierstiefels, and so on.  If you want just one unique vessel that won’t let you down no matter the beer, reach for the trusty snifter.

Ow, my crystal ball!

The Wizard is a beautiful beer to pour with a rich dark brown with a hint of amber. It is topped off with a thick layer of tan head. Thus far all our group is in agreement, but once we started taking in some of the deep scents, we started diverging into differing opinions. It had a variety of smells including: hops, dirt, nuts, citrus, raisins and dates. As we moved forward to our tasting, we encountered many of the same things found in the aroma. This is also when the debates began. Here is a mere smattering of quotes heard around our table:

“I hate Rob for bringing me this beer to drink.”-Jer (Ed. Love you too Jer.)

“Uncomfortable mixture of hoppiness and sweetness.”-Crane

“Rob must love this back end.”-Jon

“Rob Approved, AKA Jer hates it”-Rob

It has a hoppy taste that is accompanied by a raisin sweetness. It is a very smooth, but also bitter taste that sets up shop and lingers a while on your taste buds (Ed. “Lingerer!”) . It has a heavy mouth feel that makes you aware of the alcohol content and is similar in feel to a porter or stout.

It most certainly is a rich beer with many complex aromas and tastes and will be enjoyed by some but it may not be for everyone. We have discovered this first hand with some of us really loving the full rich tastes and others being overwhelmed and not caring for it. If you are partial to big tasting full beers, this should be a must try for you. If you don’t tend to care for rich beers, it might be one to avoid.

“

“Oohhhhhh my gosh”
- Nate      

Cup A Joe is one beautiful looking bottle a beer.  We poured it out and were rewarded with a tall dark beauty that lets no light through it.  The smell, oh the smell. . . it was like walking into a premier coffee shop.  We couldn’t tell if it smelled like malted coffee, or coffee beer, but it was glorious.

“Probably the best coffee beer I’ve ever had”
- Rob      

If you love coffee, this is your jambox.  This is like they percolated beer in coffee.  This has a very prevalent roasted coffee flavor, part of what makes this stand head and shoulders above other coffee beers.  From first touch of the tongue to final swallow, this just screams high quality.  From the malts they used to the coffee they chose, it doesn’t let you down.  It’s smooth, almost too smooth, a hint of sweetness and cocoa combine with the coffee/espresso and stout characteristics to make you want to cry it’s so good.  But men don’t cry.  We high five and chest bump.  And then we watch Die Hard.

At a respectable 7% ABV, this is a beer a man can be proud to drink.  It has a solid robust flavor and feel, but is smoother and easier to drink than most lites (which MEN should not be drinking anyway.  Take that down).  This could definitely be a session beer, we found it supremely easy to drink.

Now, if you’re in the market for a sporty car, and someone tells you that the Oldsmobile Silhouette is the Cadillac of minivans, that’s obviously going to mean squat to you.

Much like as fantastic a beer as this is (and oh it is), if you hate coffee like you hate the Nazis, avoid this beer like an STD.  It has a very powerful flavor, most of which is coffee based.

“I taste ZERO beer in this, it’s like cold coffee”
-Matt (our resident coffee hater and wearer of dresses)

So it won’t be for everyone, but unless you completely loath coffee, this is one satisfying beer.  Full of flavor, obviously made with nothing but the highest quality ingredients, and feels almost too light to be a stout; we thought this beer would make for a good round up to a meal.  OR  with a piece of cake.  Manly cake.
Yippee-ki-yay mothertrucker!